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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26725462">The Ways We Hide</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLindziex/pseuds/Crafty-Scrafty'>Crafty-Scrafty (xLindziex)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A good combo, Angst, F/M, M/M, Multi, but can also be read platonic if that's more your thing!, obviously, persona 5 royal spoilers, polyship royal trio, shadow joker - Freeform, with some fluff too</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:53:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26725462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLindziex/pseuds/Crafty-Scrafty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you spend so much time pretending to be someone you’re not, there’s a point where it stops being pretend.</p><p>Akira Kurusu lives as Ren Amamiya during his probation year in Tokyo in order to lay low and stay out of trouble. Goro Akechi lives as the Detectie Prince in order to gain the affections of the masses. Sumire Yoshizawa lives as Kasumi Yoshizawa to hide her pain.</p><p>Akira lies to himself, Akechi lies to everyone else, and Sumire lies to run away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Ways We Hide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm not a writer and this is more like a glorified outline, but I hope someone out there enjoys it anyways, haha. I spent more time on it than I should have tbh, so please just take it away from me!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Akira moved to Tokyo for his probation, he changed his name. No longer was he Akira Kurusu, but Ren Amamiya.</p><p>Not only did he change his name, but most of his personality, too. Even added a pair of fake glasses to his face. He <i>couldn't</i> screw this probation period up. He had to do his best to stay quiet and keep his head down. His parents had made that very clear.</p><p>So now he was Ren. </p><p>Ren, who didn't talk unless spoken to.</p><p>Ren, who complied with the requests of adults without complaint. Ren, who put the needs of others far before his own. Ren who...</p><p>He was Ren, who was exactly what everyone wanted him to be and Ren who did exactly what everyone wanted him to do.</p><p>He was never a bad kid. He tried to do what he thought was right, and look where that had gotten him: a year in Tokyo away from friends who no longer wanted to associate with him and away from his parents who told him if he <i>dares</i> to mess this up he's on his own.</p><p>So now he had to do what everyone always told him he should do: blend in, conform, and mind his own business.</p><p>Except that lasted all of two days until he met Ryuji Sakamoto and they found themselves in a strange alternate dimension where a teacher ruled over the school like it was his own castle.</p><p>He <i>really</i> tried his best to avoid going back to that place after the first time, but...</p><p>Ryuji was insistent that they couldn't just leave it. That they were in this together and they were the only ones who could help those other kids before Kamoshida went too far like he had with Ryuji.</p><p>Ren, well, he never outright said "No" and a month later he, Ryuji, Ann, and Morgana had officially formed the Phantom Thieves.</p><p>The next few months progressed with the four of them helping out individuals though the Phan-site, taking down bigger targets, and they added new members to their growing team along the way. Ren kept up with his studies, didn't stay out too late, went to bed on time and continued to blend in. Aside from the Phantom Thieves, he continued to do his best to avoid drawing attention to himself. Just a normal student.</p><p>Ren met Goro Akechi on a school trip to the TV Station.</p><p>He could tell that there was something off about him. He had seen his interviews on the TV at Leblanc, but it was much more obvious in person.</p><p>Akechi was just like him.</p><p>A manufactured personality, manufactured interests, and manufactured smiles.</p><p>Ren didn't call him out on it, but it made hanging out with him more interesting. He found Akechi interesting.</p><p>Akechi's determination to try the Phantom Thieves in court and put them behind bars was very real, but Ren could tell it wasn’t wholly for the reasons he claimed. There's something else there, too. </p><p>And he suspected it had a lot to do with why Akechi could hear Morgana talk.</p><p>But he didn't call him out on that, either.</p><p>He supposed it was a fair trade, since Akechi never called him out on being the leader of the Phantom Thieves.</p><p>And so they began a song and dance, stepped around each other with taunting words and sharp smiles. </p><p>Around the same time he also met Kasumi Yoshizawa. A friendly, bubbly redhead with a talent for gymnastics. He asked her for some tips and she agreed readily in exchange for feedback and advice.</p><p>The two of them grew closer and a chance encounter with Kasumi led to them also running into Akechi, which led to the three of them getting a bite to eat at a nearby cafe.</p><p>They chatted idly and then Akechi asked Kasumi what her opinion of the Phantom Thieves were, which of course he did.</p><p>Kasumi said their cause is noble, but ultimately would end up being a crutch to society if continued and that people should strive to take initiative into solving their own problems if they really want change. Which.... was fair, but the response took Ren by surprise nonetheless.</p><p>They parted ways after that and the next time the three of them met together, they were in Odaiba, getting ready to investigate a new mysterious palace.</p><p>So much had changed in the time since their hang out at that cafe half a year ago.</p><p>Akechi had since revealed his true colors, the self that Ren always sensed bubbling underneath the sweet words and people pleasing smiles. It would make Ren happy to see Akechi so unrestrained if not for all the evident pain that it came with.</p><p>The three of them entered this mysterious new palace, which was somehow visible even outside of the Metaverse. They scoped the place out to try and find some answers, and oh did they find them.</p><p>Maruki ended up being this new palace's ruler, but even more unexpected was Maruki's revelation that Kasumi wasn't who she believed herself to be.</p><p>Sumire Yoshizawa was her name. The younger sister of the deceased Kasumi Yoshizawa. Maruki altered her reality to let her live as Kasumi, free from guilt and despair.</p><p>The shock hit all of them hard, except for Akechi, who seemed to be surprised that Ren had thought otherwise to begin with, but there was no way for Ren to have known.</p><p>Of course he wouldn't have known, why would he? Just because he had managed to pin Akechi's facade down from the start doesn't mean he should have been able to figure Sumire out, too, especially when even she herself wasn't aware of the lie she was leading.</p><p>And it's not like he knew anything about what it was like to pretend to live as someone he wasn’t. He was Ren Amamiya and he always has been and he couldn't begin to imagine what it'd be like to pretend to be someone he wasn’t, whether it was a manufactured personality like Akechi's or a change of cognition like Sumire's.</p><p>But he knew he was going to help them because that was what he did, that was what Ren Amamiya did.</p><p>There was a hole in his train of thought where he felt like he was forgetting something important, but he couldn't recall it. He fought off the fog and unease that had clouded his mind to focus back on the situation at hand. </p><p>If he couldn't remember what it was it wasn’t important.</p><p>Probably.</p><p>So he focused back on Sumire, who was crumpled over in shock from the flood of memories that had made their way back into her mind. All the repressed grief that she never had a chance to work through coming back tenfold.</p><p>Maruki gave her the chance to go back to being Kasumi, to escape the pain and grief of losing her sister who she looked up to so much. The sister whose death she blames herself for.</p><p>She took the offer and Maruki swept her away, telling them to judge this new reality for themselves and to come back in a week if they truly wished to reject this reality.</p><p>So Ren went out and tried to remind his friends of their true realities, but it was no use. They were so wrapped up in their ideal worlds where their loved ones were alive and they were all on their way to achieving their dreams. He probably didn’t try as hard as he could have to remind them. They were all so happy and how could he tear them away from that?</p><p>By the time they returned to Maruki’s palace, Sumire's tune hadn't changed, either. She didn't want to live with the pain and grief of blaming herself for the loss of her sister, but Ren refused to let her live in a lie; he cared for her far too much.</p><p>They ended up fighting against Sumire's Persona, but a silver lining appeared in the form of his friends, who had broken out of their false realities and had come to help him.</p><p>They won and he held a weakened Sumire close as Maruki disappeared in a flash of light, giving them a month to make their final decision on whether or not they would accept this reality.</p><p>Over the course of the next month, Ren helped Sumire adjust back to her life. Her true life. She took a few days to sort her own thoughts out and she had doubts about whether or not she could really live on like this, but she didn’t want to run anymore, either.</p><p>“You can't rely on others to fix your problems for you. You have to take the initiative yourself if you want things to change,” Ren tells her.</p><p>She smiled at the familiar words, the ones she had spoken about the Phantom Thieves half a year ago.</p><p>“You’re right, Ren-senpai, thank you for the reminder.”</p><p>With a new resolve, she promised to live on as Sumire.</p><p>---</p><p>There was an ache in Ren’s chest on the night of February 2nd after he threw the calling card at Maruki, who took his leave shortly after.</p><p>The idea of Akechi disappearing if- no, <i>when</i> they returned to their true reality stings. It hurt and he could feel his heart breaking.</p><p>As much as Akechi would hate to admit it, the two of them were <i>close</i> and as much as Akechi would hate to hear it, Ren <i>did</i> care about his well being. </p><p>But as much as it hurt, he promised Akechi that they won’t take Maruki’s deal and that they would follow through on the original plan to take back reality.</p><p>On February 3rd, the Phantom Thieves arrived back at Maruki’s palace. The fight was long and hard, but they won.</p><p>Time blurred for Ren after they returned to the real world. He woke up in prison, was released from prison shortly after, and was then reunited with his friends.</p><p>Akechi was nowhere to be seen and Sumire arrived shortly after himself. He learned how everyone rallied the troops to bust him out and it made him smile.</p><p>Time passed and days moved on and Ren managed to find Akechi again.</p><p>It was by chance, Ren had been at the train station waiting for the train that would take him back to his hometown. With his probation over, and goodbyes to his friends said, Ren and Morgana waited for the train. Out of the corner of his eye, Ren spotted a familiar tan coat and felt his heart jump into his throat. He couldn’t keep from smiling as Akechi walked towards him.</p><p>“Nice to see you, Detective.” Ren greeted.</p><p>“You as well, Amamiya-kun.”</p><p>Akechi seemed... lighter...They chatted idly while they waited for Ren’s train, but eventually it had been time for him to go. They parted ways with a promise to keep in touch.</p><p>Keep in touch they did.</p><p>They made plans to visit a few times a month when time allowed. Most of the time it was Ren returning to Tokyo to spend time with Akechi and Sumire both. The three of them had grown quite close since taking down Maruki’s false reality with the other Thieves.</p><p>Most of the time they would hang out at Akechi’s apartment. It afforded them privacy that they would be unable to get at LeBlanc or Sumire’s house. Sometimes they would take trips outside of Tokyo and play tourist.</p><p>One day Akechi had confessed to the both of them that he had been struggling to figure out who he was ever since dropping the Detective Prince act. </p><p>“When you spend so much time pretending to be someone you’re not, there’s a point at which it stops being pretend” Ren reasoned, “trying to find the person that lies between the lie you lived and the you that you want to be can be hard, but we’ll be here to help.” He assured, with a cheery nod and hum of agreement from Sumire as well.</p><p>They moved on, time moved on, and the three of them grew closer. Closer than Ren was to the other Thieves, even. It was nice.</p><p>Everything was good, but all good things had to come to an end.</p><p>At the end of summer vacation, Akechi and Sumire find out the other Phantom Thieves had made a trip to go visit Ren back in his hometown. They were a bit miffed at having been left out, but they did spend a good deal of the summer with Ren, too, so they weren’t too upset about it. They send a few teasing texts to Ren about not being invited and let it rest.</p><p>But then they received a phone call and found themselves on a train to see Ren.</p><p>When the Thieves had arrived earlier in the day, Ren was nowhere to be found. Then they had suddenly found themselves in the Metaverse and face to face with him. Except it wasn’t really him. He was Joker, but there was also something off about him. Gone was the cocky, confident leader of the Phantom Thieves and before them was a Joker who looked <i>broken</i> for lack of a better word.</p><p>“He doesn’t want to fight.” Panther told them when they arrived, “But he doesn’t want to listen to any of us, either.”</p><p>“You both have gotten closer to him over the summer, so perhaps he will listen to you.” Queen said.</p><p>---</p><p>When they find Ren, he begs them to turn around and leave. </p><p>“I don’t want you to see me like this,” He croaked out.</p><p>But they push and tug and the truth comes out.</p><p>“I’m not the person you think I am. Ren Amamiya isn’t even my real name,” He half laughs and half sobs, “My name is Akira Kurusu.”</p><p>He explained his move to Tokyo for probation, his change of name and personality to fit in and conform and stay out of trouble.</p><p>“Not that it worked out for me in the end, anyways.” He despaired.</p><p>He went on to explain that eventually it stopped being acting and his true self fell away. Be it a side effect of going in and out of a world based on cognition or just general psychological repression, he doesn’t even know who or what his true self is anymore. All Ren knew is he had lived a lie for over a year and he can’t claw his way out. When he moved back home after his probation period, he reached a tipping point.</p><p>He no longer knew who he was, so he just continued to be Ren Amamiya. His parents didn’t care, they were happy even. He was staying out of trouble and they were fine believing that his year in Tokyo truly reformed him.</p><p>He kept up the facade, though, despite the unease and stress that prickled underneath his skin at the wrongness of it. His frequent visits to Tokyo to see Akechi and Sumire, as well as the other Thieves helped keep his mind off it.</p><p>“The closest I’ve ever been to being myself since arriving in Tokyo was when I became Joker in the Metaverse. Everything else was a lie.”</p><p>“What do you mean it was a lie, senpai?” Sumire shouted, “Was it a lie when you helped me and gave me advice? Was all that advice a lie? Was it a lie when you helped me find out who I wanted to be as Sumire instead of how I should live as Kasumi?”</p><p>“And what about those times the two of us spent talking, throwing darts, and playing pool?” Akechi followed up, “Didn’t you also help me figure out who I wanted to be as well? What makes you think that Yoshizawa-san and I won’t do the same for you?”</p><p>“You shouldn’t.” Shadow Joker is folded over his knees, clutching his head</p><p>“When you pretend to be someone you’re not for so long, eventually it stops being pretend” Akechi told Shadow Joker, “Can you truly say everything was a lie if you had kept up the ruse for so long?”</p><p>“It was a lie,” Shadow Joker sat up and shouted, “It was a lie and you both should hate me for lying to you! For leading you both to believe I’m someone I’m not!”</p><p>“If it was all a lie, then what is the truth?”</p><p>“I- I don’t know,” Shadow Joker was back to holding his head, “Why are you trying to help me? Why aren’t you leaving me?”</p><p>“We don’t hate you, senpai. I know I could never and I know Akechi-kun feels the same.”</p><p>“Yoshizawa-san is right, Joker, and we’re not going to let you throw a pity party for yourself over this, either. So get up, and let’s go home.”</p><p>They were going to help him whether he wanted them to or not.</p><p>With that, Shadow Joker faded away, dissolved into nothing and Akira was left in his place.</p><p>Akechi and Sumire helped him up, took him home and promised to help him find the person who lies between Ren Amamiya and Akira Kurusu, just as he had helped them.</p>
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